Monday, April 2, 2012

Teabags/Let go and WHAT?/"Hubby" sux

Yesterday, I went shopping. There were two things I wanted, well, three: cat food, wine and tea. I forgot to get the tea, and am now stuck with Lipton, which I disdain because I dislike their over-packaging. I just like to dig a couple teabags out of my tin and throw them in the teapot. I do NOT like having to unwrap each teabag first.

So I forgot to buy the tea. Sheesh.

I picked up my Jug o'Chablis (I'm unemployed - no Good Stuff for me, and the Jug o'Chablis is remarkably good!) and got into line, which was really, really long for a Wine & Liquor store. The reason? The harassed woman in the really, really short line (cuz it was just her) was hanging onto her whiney 3-year-old while the teller was on the phone.

Why was the teller on the phone? Good question, that!

She was on the phone because (and we [in the long, long line], who didn't know this at that point, just thought the mother of the 3-year-old was a deadbeat who didn't deserve a drink) the entire Wine & Liquor store credit card thingo had gone fubar. It had decided that every credit card needed to be called in personally, with people being put on hold, etc.

The same thing happened to the woman in front of me, but she told the cashier to cancel it and she'd pay cash.

hmmmm - I had no cash (unemployed!, which,
in today's growing economy, is all myOwnFault!).

My turn - sure enough, the Big Screen of Gotcha! came up for me ... and I had the "new" teller who didn't really know how to deal with it. So the other teller gave him the phone (only ONE phone in the Wine & Liquor store), and he started laboriously entering the phone number...

The line was growing.

Since there were only two tellers and 10-15 customers in line, I suggested to the Other Teller, since she seemed more knowledgeable than MY sad sack teller, that they make two lines - one for cash and one for credit cards.

That made her pissy at me - sticking my oar in.
(Can't help it, I'm a problem-solver.)

So, the customers THEMSELVES, who had heard (and hurrahed my suggestion, or at least "yeahed" it under their breaths), divided into two lines themOwnSelves.

But this isn't what I wanted to talk about... the thing I wanted to talk about was a young lady who worked at the Wine & Liquor store (I got the impression she was an accountant - she kept hovering around the outside of the problem but couldn't actually fix anything), who said right out loud (when my card didn't work and the line behind me Got Ugly) "come on, this is Palm Sunday - no need to be upset!" or something of that ilk; and I agreed with her, right out loud.

Sometimes it's nice to have a little mystical moment 
in which you deliberately love thy brothers as thy/myOwnSelf/Selves.

So, unfortunately encouraged, she voiced a few more religious aphorisms, which got me thinking, "uh-oh."

I'd taken her statement about Palm Sunday to mean she was from what I consider to be a reasonable religion (i.e., Lutheran, Episcopal, maybe even Catholic [if you discount their history and some of their current ideology]). I find these churches reasonable because they

  • don't go out preaching, 
  • their sermons are short, 
  • and their music is good. 

I'd probably throw Methodist in there too, except they don't drink alcohol.

When she started spouting other placard religious statements, I thought a bad word, but ignored her. HOWEVER, when I switched from my Visa card to my AmEx, which went through and I said "Hooray!" or maybe even "Hallelujah," which is religious, and she said, very loudly,

"Let Go and Let God!" 
I said
"No, I won't go that far."

Her face got all pinched and pissy-looking because I'd rejected her "God done it" approach....
Poop on religion.
That's all I have to say about that, but there's another thing that makes me crazy! It's when new brides (who apparently consider Having a Husband to be more important than having a best friend with whom they can Live Forever) refer to their new husbands as "hubby" instead of calling them/him/it by their/his/its own name(s).

"Hubby and I went to the store." Hubby and I have a new apartment." "Hubby and I have sex whenever we want to."

Cut it out! Don't show the world how desperate you were to grab a husband that you have to call him "Hubby" so everyone will know you caught one!

(Calling a spouse "Hubby" brings to mind an old Popeye cartoon where a desperate woman sees him and hollers out "A man! A MAN!!!!!").

Good grief, have a little pride!
Yesterday, I was in a much better mood. I had a blog travelling through my head that made me laugh (I often make myself laugh; I'm easily amused) - unfortunately, I'm in a different place today, so find myself neither amusing nor amused.

This too shall pass.

Hurhurhur - I thought that was from the Bible, which would have been* amusing - given today's text, I mean blog. But I decided to look it up (who doesn't love Google?) and learned that it's probably a saying from the Sufis: Muslim mystics.

There you go. Wisht I'd said that at the obnoxiously religious girl.

Wegman's has oddly talkative tellers. 

So my teller was telling my groceries, when all of a sudden I said, "I HATE this music they're playing!" 

I'm normally reticent about decrying lousy music in public,
but this was GODAWFUL!

So my teller looked at me with his eyebrows up to his hairline and said, "but isn't this Whitney Houston?"

My bad. Don't speak ill of the dead.

So then he wanted to quiz me on singers I DO like.

So I said I like Norah Jones.

Well! That meant I must also like Michael Buble?! 

Noooo.....(his Youtube video for Santa Claus is Coming to Town is the WORST!)! I'm not linking to it because he might Git Me for not liking him.... you never know....

I said, "I HATE Michael Buble!"**

The teller's eyebrows went higher....

So he asked me about the Beatles, who I have always loved; but, I told him, I dislike the Rolling Stones - at which point it looked like the guy behind me in line was going to enter the conversation.

I fled.

Ever and anon,

*pronounce it "bean" cuz today that's the way it's pronounced in my head.

**side note - I have a friend who LOVES Michael Buble.... she loaned me a cd of his from which all the songs got sucked into my computer and then into my Zune. When I realized that I HATE Michael Buble, I tried to erase him - but my computer and my Zune were in a weird state of trading back and forth, and I couldn't eradicate him. To this day, FIVE YEARS LATER, he still occasionally bursts forth in song from my Zune, and I cringe.

And I say right out loud, "I hate Michael Buble. :(

But I like my friend, so it's all good.

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