Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I fear I have changed.... "I just vant to be alone..."

I used to take pride in being an ENFP* - "ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum."

But I find I am no longer "people-oriented."

In fact, I find that I've come to despise being around many (specific, as well as groups of) people.

Have I become INTROVERTED?

Am I now an INFP**? - INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause."

Since I was made redundant at my job a few years ago, I fear I've become a loner - except where my (wonderful, of course!) family is concerned. 

The Crux:
VACATION: What could be more wonderful than going to the Outer Banks for vacation? Here's where we stayed for a week: Island Pearl

The beach at OBX.
It was a lovely house, with a pool, hot tub, pool table, a BEACH... so what could possibly have ruined my vacation? 

People ruined it.

maybe my violated values ruined it.

There was, shall we say, an unexpected couple added to the mix. 
They were nice people... 
...they were friendly people. 
They wore me out.
They were effusive and noisy people, always wanting to talk to everyone and be part of everyone's lives; never understanding that others may not (absolutely did not!) want to be like them, or even with them.

I didn't want them "in" my life at all, at all...
...I wanted to be left alone.

  • I didn't want them commenting loudly and adversely if I went to my bedroom earlier than they thought I should. 
  • I didn't want them asking me where I was going...
    ...or even LOOKING at me.
  • I didn't want them calling me a "princess." (Even though Brian and theSon said nothing bad was meant by it, I heard the epithet in it.)
So, my vacation was spent with my family.... and avoiding another family. Irksome, to say the least. But it was a learning experience.

What I Learned on Vacation was that I need a new t-shirt, one that says:

Maybe, upon espousing this phrase, I will be left alone and happy in the future. 
All by myself...
....with my family
together alone.***

Can I hear an AMEN!


*ENFP - Extroverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceptive
**INFP - Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceptive
***Melanie Safka

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